holy shit. it’s here. the finale! what crazies can joshie schwartz throw at us now?? i actually tried not to live blog this one, bc i was watching with 941 and friends, buuut boyalex saw my pain and kindly offered his laptop (such a gentleman!), and so, here we go!
be warned, this isnt going to be a super snarky, detailed post. mostly, i was focusing on the fact that 1) my thai takeout was awesome, 2) so was my red wine and 3) if blair and chuck didnt get it on soon, i was going to have a psychotic breakdown and quite possibly embarrass myself even further. anyway, lets investigate some of this week’s gems, and lament on the fact that we now have to wait a whole summer for more nail-biting madness.
“… take off that hideous scarf, you can see it from space!” I love when Blair puts Penelope down. So much.
Ew. new j? ew. stupid headbanding step sisters. and did anyone else notice how much taller taylor momsen is than those other chickies? seriously, she made new girl look like a tiny.
eric’s hair = still getting better. jenny’s stylist = should be shot.
dan’s name was left off the list of graduates? BRILLIANT. “Congratulations Don.” comedy gold!
OH MY GOD. blair and chuck. but that light! the dialogue! the close camera work (i could see pores!) it’s like a bad soap opera scene!
wally shawn is back! “havent seen you since we broke matzoh together.” adorable! where’s he been? looking for the afikomen near the cliffs of insanity? oh and wally and eleanor going on about lily and rufus? amazing. -ly awkward.
rufus actually looks better in a suit. who knew? love elly’s glasses
serena has the tassel in her hair?? WHAT. ugh blake lively is just soooo hot she cant be stuck in one of those awful grad caps. could she be any more of an elitist?
“and as for serena van der woodsen, after today, you are officially irrelevant.”
just. wow. amazing. brilliant. fact.
(okay, i cant remember if this the exact line, but i was too distracted by my own squeals).
chuck! the sneer! it’s back!
“we both make mistakes, but if we cant get past that, how do we move forward?” seriously. thank you blair, for being the single voice of reason in this circus of a delicious show.
okay nate is LAME. but he just told his grandpa about being a total prostitute. so 2 points there.
wait, vanessa and blair are both going to nyu? maybe theyll have a collegiate lesbian fling!!! YES
dan’s actually right; GG is SO high school. (and you know,working professionals in their mid 20’s.) Whoaa AND the GG blast about Serena’s irrelevance? apparently a prophecy. actually really enjoyed this couple for once.
“i submit nelly yuki.” agreed. and nelly likes dan!! ohmigod!!
WHAT?? goosip girl knows about new years? fuck!! please tell me B and uncle bass didnt hook up!!! oh god. JENNY WHAT are you doing? why, little j, why? dont stray to the dark side!
“…and what about my stockings“.. oh, i adore them. me too, chuck, me too. but seriously, hurry up before kristen bell wreaks havoc on your smoochie time!!
NO NO NO NO NO NO!! all hell breaks loose!!
“you slept with jack?” / “you slept with vanessa??”!!! WHHHHAT. that happened SO fast!!
“you didnt do that with the dregs of dumbo”
“… hello, im right here!” — okay, that was kind of funny. sorry, V.
um, the blow up and then dan and serena set to Zero?? LOVE it. and Nelly Yuki? hysterical.
blair, make it better with chuck. please. please.
oh my god. collective gasp from everyone. best speech ever. please josh schwartz, just give us THIS!! FUUUUCK. are you kidding me?? this is so beyond cruel.
“do you remember the casbah??” yeah, you rocked it. cute, lil.
YES. SOMETHING. rufus and lily!! ill take it!! AND the ring says lincoln hawk. ridic.
lauren’s friend marie: it’s a good thing our hs wasnt like this
me: wait, yours wasnt?
marie: …i think i was nelly yuki…
“forget boys, keep your eye on the prize” um, agreed. the prize = chicks.
OH awww this is why i love blair. “youre my queen” YAY for little J!
i really really really hope blair isnt gossip girl. cause that’d be… dumb.
auuugh that was THE moment!! WHYY chuck!!! youre so cruel!!! this episode is so good i dont even mind that they did pulled the “one week later” crap.
wait, blair and jenny are having diiner together? at the same restaurant you an serena ate at two weeks ago? dont you ppl eat anywhere else??
“i miss high school…. i even miss even chuck bass.. who would get SO close to talk.” alright, finally someone acknowledges this oddity. but seriously Dan, you sound like a gay.
“probably not as much as you” okay, well played lonelyboy. i for one wouldnt be opposed to more references to the C/V brooklyn sexathon. er, duathalon? wait, ive lost it.
HOLY shit! dan humphrey has a hot brother. it’s now ridiculously apparent that had rufus and lily gotten married in the first place, their kids would be SO much better looking than they currently are. i mean penn badgely! really???
the bejewled headband! the wave of dismissal! Jenny wins! I rejoice!
AND georgina!!! HOLY HOLY CRAP!! new roommates! maybe theyll be like me and Suz, and sort of get along but then suddenly meet this weird guy and everything will click and they will be besties and live together for a few glorious years until one of them decides she’s gay (preferably B) and the other finds a lovely Persian man to marry. (oh, have i said too much??)
what??? new mystery!! keith van der woodsen!! im actually really liking where this is going.
“your favoritre fall stockings.. you know how i adore them” YES. YES. A thousand times yes. Did you see how big those smiles were??’/
Thank you Josh Schwartz, from the bottom of my shallow little heart. It means far more than it should.
wow. a whirlwind!! and you know what, im really really happy with the way this season ended. Tons of drama (who IS gossip girl?? is serena really irrelevant?? who’s that ridiculously hot boy making friends in the village with our heroes?), tons of new storylines to chase next season (the humpher woodsen wedding! the roommate from hell!), and finally, after long last, TWO couples get their happy ending (chuck and blair, me and josh schwartz)!! what can i say? im more than content right now. and this season? legend – wait for ittttt – dary.
but wait, where’s Dorota??