flashback episode / the valley intro!! time to discover if brittany snow makes as good a lily as kelly rutherford, and whether or not that dark haired eyebrow dude looks nearly as dopey as the trailers make him seem!!!
blair on S’s 4 hrs in jail: she’s already spent more time in jail than nicole richie and lindsay lohan combined. brilliant, joshie!
LOVE the stare-down b/w lily and blair. i appreciate b’s effort, but she should prob just let these crazy van der woodsen women fight it out themselves
what?? it’s prom! how is there not an entire episode devoted to this incredibly important event in a high schooler’s life??
“i would rather give my kids up for adoption than [do what you did] … oh wait, you already did.”
i cant believe S said that to her mother. that was so incredibly over the line. smack that bitch.
celia rhodes: cue the ominous score.
“punishing loved ones just comes so much more naturally to some people” ooh, the dude from st elmo’s gets some good lines!
“gin and tonic, hold the tonic.” it’s WASP lemonade!
ahh the absent father. like mother like daughter.
“im perfectly comfortable with the path youve laid out for me” okay, so lily starts out a total upper crust UES WASP? but she acts out bc she misses her father? im just trying to put it all together here!
more eric! and more octogenarians in salmon jumpsuits!
b to s: youre not going to come out of there with a mullet and a girlfriend are you?
god, i love when blair makes lesbian jokes two episodes in a row!
S is planning on missing prom?? youve got to be kidding me. she likes to imagine herself above hs, but lets be honest: she’s so not.
“is body bag. corpse not pretty” thank god Dorota is back.
regarding imminent prostitution: “i mean is small talk required?”
from what i hear, nope!
what is with dan calling lily all the time?? seriously! i get that they want to set up this whole brady bunch storyline, but the dude needs to pick his balls up off the floor and be a man sometime. or at least ask Little J.
billy idol montage!! and um, can you imagine not seeing your sister in a year and then showing up in her clothes? oh this is going to go over well.
“is this the one where you fall in love with me? oh my god it is, you’re so falling in love with me!” and lily might actually be a little funny.
oh gwen! great cover of stand and deliver.
“a cool place to get hepatitis?” despite the fact that this dude lily is with looks like a poor man’s luke perry, im actually enjoying this.
DICK CASABLANCAS!! and kristen ritter (who, despite often being referred to as a poor man’s Zooey, im inclined to like)! VMars reunion (ps this vid totes reminded me that both paris hilton and michael cera guested on the show)!! i know ryan hansen is supposed to be on Joshie’s new web series, but i didnt realize he and a ridic mullet would be making an appearance on the Valley. Love it.
“come on ladies, lets commit election fraud!” oh the step sisters!
Serena thinks she’s breaking the cycle of VDW crazy… really?? are you kidding??? god, she’s even stupider than i thought.
there’s a lot of familial shit in this episode. i get that they have to set up the spin off, but there’s a lot of… talking about… feelings and crap.
ugh, could rufus be a bigger baby? seriously.
“after 20 years, you really dont know who i am?” lily may be ridiculous, but she’s so right. suck it up, humphrey, and marry the girl!
on S’s prom hair post-jail: and she braided her hair and put flowers in it… did she pull them from the driver’s air freshener? (i love lauren)
Keith. Van. der. woodsen. OMG. finally, an appearance!! …and the audience isnt particularly impressed.
“gross, my sister would never sleep would you” uhh, but you will. in what, like… 6 episodes?
um, no way. i cant believe [little]lily just jumped that kid. amazing. hilarious and amazing. so awkward. this spin off just might be entertaining yet!
oh my god, chuck sent the dress!! chuck helped her win!! chuck read the prom scrapbook!!! im tearing up right now.
i cant believe this 80s flashback thing is detracting from my blair / chuck moments.
and i almost tear up a second time: finally lily outright accuses her mother of forcing her to marry van der woodsen instead of rufus. i hate that dope, but this part actually stings. why cant josh give us one stable couple?? a kristen and sandy!!
why are you talking in the past tense? i cant believe nate actaully picked up on that. “just hold me” – WTF is happening to blair right now? where’s b?? and more importantly, where’s chuck right now? couldnt serena have texted b and told her about chuck being uh-may-zing?? ugh.
in conclusion: brittany snow was actually pretty good. and of course ill watch the valley. can we get back to chuck and blair now please???