it’s been far too long, so let’s just jump right in! i cant believe i missed last week’s episode; forgive me for my sins.
so recapping the passover episode seems a little ridiculous, so ill just make some quick comments and then get to the drama at hand!
1. i love that cyrus is jewish. and that there’s a seder. oh, and “schmutz happens“. (it really does)
2. i cant vouch for the beloved comment, but ivy leaguers flirt with lesbianism, too. and maybe more!
3. “waldorf women are not socialites” – wait, but arent they?
4. “when it comes to these things, it takes a while to start to matter“. ouch.
5. as much as i want to, i still cant bring myself to give a crap about serena. married, really? that is so friends circa 98. im digging jenny and her new conor oberst-lookalike, though.
6. i adore jew:socialite analogies. because, well, duh.
7. “there’s even an empty seat. it’s for elijah, but you can take it.” we like to plan ahead.
8. nate suddenly has a change of heart and confronts his grandfather? after he breaks up with V? ugh. speaking of, why hasnt Chuck called her yet?
9. oh my god, gabriel is pretty. why couldnt blair have run to chuck?
10. i know this is a tv show, but rufus selling the gallery right now and leaving the ranks of the self-employed? aughh, has he not seen the news lately? there’s an economic crisis! and ugh, why must this nate and blair bs continue? and gabriel’s evil??? Noooo!!
ugh. okay, that was a good one. on to the current!
1. you know how i feel about ironic facial hair! ugh, dont we all.
2. the subway! “please dont ask this of me” priceless.
3. hmm gabriel’s been disappearing. maybe he’s an ibanker.
4. “dorota is a great help with surveillance equipment”. ill bet she is!
5. i love when chuck tries to be athletic. it’s too bad he fails miserably.
6. oh god. gabriel is way too pretty. pretty = evil. scrap what i said before. he’s a tool. i think he wants to steal the van der woodsen money. also, this actor uses is face WAY too much. ugh smell the fart.
7. “i see youre wearing your beret. who are we spying on tonight?” chuck knows blair so well.
8. serena can live with the 2 girlfriend thing as long as it isnt physical. god, this girl is a dumbass. thank god blair’s a skeptic.
9. i want V to tell someone about chuck! and for it to happen again. a lot.
10. “he’s having her cake and eating yours, too!” best line of the night?
11. and reality sets in: the economy sucks. the market is shit. no one wants to buy an art gallery in williamsburg (click on this one, seriously). go figure.
12. “with you two, it’s always a big deal” nate’s right about one thing, chuck and blair are epic.
13. poppy is hot. AND she’s got connections. but the dude who plays gabriel cant act.
14. “i never slept with chuck bass” I LOVE VANESSA RIGHT NOW. leave dan and call chuck now. actually he’s with Blair. “i never slept with Chuck Bass twice” NO WAIT, CALL. augh, i cant decide!! how can josh schwartz leave this storyline hanging??
15. gabriel’s going to get S to invest. hello master plan. could S be any stupider?? if he steals all of Lily’s money, im going to be beyond pissed.
16. moving in together?? WHAT. youre 17. this show is full of morons.
17. are dan and vanessa going to hook up? ugh. i like how joshie is making all this college stuff so dramatic, just so all the kids end up in nyc!
18. OH MY GOD. gabriel’s going to steal rufus’s money. this is so very very very bad.
19. chuck and blair sleeping on each other. aw.
20. NOW S figures it out. just as G’s talking about passion plays and paper mache apostles. brilliant. judaism one week, christianity the next! when’s ramadan again?
21. NO. no. no. no. no. No, Rufus, no!!
22. oh dawnie, it’s been a while! Georgiana is hysterical. but wait, is she still evil, too?? and why do she and blair hate each other so much??? why havent i seen season 1???
in conclusion: i apologize for the inhumane length of this post. i dont promise it wont happen again. oh, and Rufus just got royally screwed by S’s new jackass. Lets hope Lily saves the day. Nate and Blair are as lame as ever. Vanessa really likes obsessing about her (two) trysts with Chuck. Me, too.