this week: how about we just jump right in?
blair bitching about detention while dorota… clears leaves? who serves detention in central park? and with a picnic basket from gaydaddy (slash my favorite lex luthor ever)!!
blair, your martyr act? no good. um, i beg to disagree.
oh god. lonelyboy flirting with the teacher? ew. (but oh well, cue the Van Halen)
AND S had NO idea her boytoy was breakfasting with rachel. who calls teachers by their first name at constance billard?
could ms carr gush ANY more about lame hobbit boy? i think i just threw up in my mouth a little.
chuck wakes up in a daze…. masquerade sex with strangers, and an intriguing door stamp. looks like kubrick circa ’99 minus tom (still denying his gayface) cruise.
and um that picture behind him? terrifying. (did anyone else notice this?!??)
oooh rachel’s throwing out thoreau references and
cauliflower mary? love it. “this isnt about yale, this is about our legacy.” ahh a rousing speech to the evil step sisters and… nothing!
Ooh gossip girl just got burned! no cell phones in school? how did no authority ever think of this before?
who could be behind such pure evil? oh nelly, how could you?
ahh dorota incognito! julia voicing all our opinions: “how is she supposed to be undercover with that hairpiece?” and nelly, “please, i need to check the dow.” oh, she would, she would.
chuck takes v and nate on his crazy fantasy / sex masquerade. for some reason, im not getting into it.
“midwestern mother teresa”.. love it. oh her hair DOES look tired.
rachel running into dan? this is weird. and god he’s lame. “once again the world has proven, anthing you can do, i can do better”
ohh blair is SO devious. but what will happen with the no cell phone rule? will gg prevail? im shuddering with anticipation.
everyone’s whispering. and staring. at dan. what else is new.
and Dan totally calls out jenny for her “raccoon makeup“. LOVE IT.
and what’s with her writing the note on her hand? we need more jenny humphrey. more i say!!
and here comes serena.. OH NO. dont give dan anything on blair! you know he’s going to go do crazy stpid crap.
hmm nate and v making sweet music at the piano while chuck waxes [darkly] poetic on his crazy night. hmm not sure im into this storyline yet… WAIT WHAT!!! HOLY YES. girl in picture frame = KATE FRENCH.
dan confronting b in the bathroom! classy! and serena explaining gossip girl to rachel (dan really needs to stop calling her that!).. couldnt they put miss carr on a box or something, so she’d at least be the same height as blake likely? hello, sarah michelle gellar got away with it for years with david boreanaz!
ooh gossip girl needed in the principals office! OH shit, nelly yuki, what a narc!! ivy or bust, huh? holy crap, expulsion? how is she going to get herself out of this one??
lex luthor confirms the expulsion. i love him, but where’s mother waldorf?
vanessa got a card, too? aweeesome. where IS this storyline going?
aww s makes a plea on b’s behalf! and rocks atrocious roots while doing it. carr isnt giving in.
OH nO! handsome dan gets the boot! we’ll take you!
she’s double jointed, makes the kama sutra feel… new again. OH and Kate french!! i love you!!
WHAT??? dinner with dan? are you kidding me? and theyre flattering each other fucking nonstop? ew. this is ridic. does anyone else hear zooey deschanel in the background? oh god, are you kidding me? call me in five years? THIS IS SO BAD. annnd you know serena is going to walk right in. and destroy her boyfriend / psuedo-brother… whoa this just got insaaane.
what???/ the secret comes out! kate french is a prostitute? im confused. and saddened. she drugged him up and stole him away? this is awesome. what the f is this crazy secret society?
julia on chuck’s assertion that he can protect the nanny: “im 17, ill spirit you away to cancun for spring break” oh, i heart my roommate. kate french being super flighty – wait, come back!!
you were right about dan and rachel.
you have proof! give it to me!
oh no, so many misunderstandings! so much pain! so much heartbreak! i love it when leighton gets demanding. but what is with blair’s big striped sweaters???
aww nate and vanessa. this is actually really cute. ooh, premarital sex!!
“exculpatory evidence. i love damages.” garrett, i know you loved that.
ohh shit. hitting the fan. in argyle. eek.
aannnd blair misspeaks in front of daddy. not so gay now, is he?
annnd suddenly dan and serena are having THE talk. “it’s over, isnt it?” eh, predictable.
dan and daddy humphrey getting into it. ooh im so excited to see what happens here! maybe dan and rachel will actually make out now!
your essay was “filled with nuanced observations about the world around you. that’s some unexpected irony” eek. i feel pretty bad for s right now. but i guess worse for rachel. finding good employment these days is not easy.
daddy expresses disappointment in blair. handsome dan gets manhandled some by b. all she wanted was some validation from her father!! aw, this is sort of sad.
oh!!!!! HOLY crap! miss carr kissing dan – SO awesome. pull him inside!! pull him inside!!! aughghgh! And rachel not losing her job? what a twist! i think i might actually like dan now.
next week: where’s my preview?!?? ugh, more kate french.