ahhh college! how convenient that all our upper east siders all have the same dream school! it’s like dawson’s creek – you KNOW there’s no way dawson and jen would ever have gone to the same college. she was SO nyu, he was SO lameface. pacey would have done honors at state college, and joey would have gone to brown. seriously. BUT i digress.
yale: queen b’s dream school. the shining star in the triumvirate that is harvard, princeton and yale. how ambitious of the crowd! im thinking new haven is close enough that next year, the kids can do the college thing and be back in the city often enough to keep the show spicy. and where’s gg going to go? will kristen bell ever make an appearance? or is she slick like ghostwriter (remember him? damn those were cool new yorkers)! and um, blair, there ARE other ivies!
in fact, lets place a few of the kids now:
dan: sensitive writer from brooklyn – the kid’s got columbia written all over him
chuck: princeton‘s probably the only place i could imagine kids wearing the getups he does and still get away with it. plus, his ego’s already the size of the eastern seaboard
serena: i could just see her strolling down locust walk in green tights and a tin lunchbox. hello, Penn IS the party ivy. then again, maybe blair was right. Brown does have a certain off-kilter attractiveness to it
blair: i can actually see her at yale. buuut she bombed that one (did she really kiss the dean? eek, awkward!). looks like she’s going to Penn, too. she and Serena can do drinks at Pod and charm the St. A’s boys (SO Nate, unless he decides drinking heavily and throwing chairs out of windows for him, in which case he;ll be up in snowy new hamphire)
okay, so im biased. but really, none of these kids is smart enough for harvard, and cornell is totally lame.
oh right, the episode. here’s what we learned:
- chuck does care about nate. a lot. note the stinkeye given to dan when he and nate go off to suck face on the amtrak ride home.
- lily is WAY too old to be wearing a dress that short. rufus is a liar.
- jenny is adorable AND a respectful daughter. and totally right about her father being a complete hypocrite. there’s no way this chick is 15 (except for the fact that she actually is).
- serena’s mother went to brown. really?!!? all those brains and yet she still put on that dress (see bullet 2)
- blair is quite possibly the most awkwardly depressing (and realistic) college interviewee (ah the dumb shit we said in high school). but she does look cute in a preppy sweater. actually, she looks sort of like a real person.
- serena’s cleavage is out of control. you know that’s really what held the dean’s attention.
- talking about electives, while completely realistic, is just as lame as in real life.
- college girls apparently love high school boys (just ask Aiden). especially TA’s. umm false. just bc college boys like high school girls, it doesnt go both ways. Unless you’re Chace Crawford and have an incredibly ridiculous [and gay]face.
- secret societies track high schoolers. and make them prove themselves with non-english speaking prostitutes and free narcotics. this is just ridiculous. joshua jackson never should have made that skulls movie! bush never should have been elected president! oh well, at least now we know where he got the blow.
- every student who visits an ivy league school gets an interview with the dean of admissions. riiiight.
- serena is capable of being even more spiteful and vindicitve than i initially thought! honestly, she’s far worse than blair. im not sure what it is, but there’s something so vicious about her. blair does a lot of dumb shit, and to be honest she was more than pathetic this episode, but still, serena, really?!?? Stealing George Sahn – so uncool.
- Even nice girls know how to get dirty. that cat fight? ridiculous!!! Serena’s dress was wayy too low for that. the whole scene was like a train wreck… i was horrified. and couldnt tear my eyes away.
speaking of b and s, can you smell the homoeroticism? the cat fight / the makeup scene / the hand holding / the close hugging / the eye contact??? ahh i love my my overactive imagination.
oh, and what was up with b’s hat? love you leighton, but you’re no daisy buchanan.
ill leave you with my favorite bit from Vulture’s reality index:
Where did Chuck get hookers in New Haven? Minus 5. And since when are there that many straight guys in a room at Yale? Minus 5
oh wait, and this one was pretty good, too:
The only Ivy League school this ragtag crew of friends and enemies would be accepted to, en masse, is Penn, not Yale. Minus 2.
that’s exactly what i said, too!